Don’t judge fast and learn before spreading negativities.

Slander is one of the worst things that one can remedy; therefore, it is considered a crime in some countries. Of course, not every slander is a crime, but it can always be severe.

Sometimes, we are spreading unknowingly misleading information that might appear as slander. Unfortunately, we may never know the truth and spend a lifetime feeling wronged because of misunderstanding and the stubbornness of refusing to learn.

Let me tell you a story I’ve experienced while volunteering in Zambia (Africa). I will start a bit broadly, but soon I will get to the point. 

The voluntary service I have undertaken

The voluntary service I was undertaking usually lasts 12 months, and before it takes place, there is an eight-weekend preparation course spread through one year. (I had an exception, and I arranged my volunteering for only four months due to my study program and research.) I already had an above-average traveling experience; besides traveling within Europe, the US, Middle East, I had previously volunteered for two months in Indonesia, for four months in the UK, and spent a month with volunteers in India. I worked with Indians, Indonesians, Western and Eastern Europeans, even Americans. 

By this introduction, I just want to point out that even if I already came across a few volunteer programs, various cultures and lived in different countries, I almost made a big mistake after volunteering in Africa. 

The issue details

I worked in an orphanage with an educational center where I taught adults ICT at training school in the mornings, and then I used to help children study in the afternoons. 

When I came to this center, I brought a big 25kg suitcase full of stuff for children (pencil-cases, color pencils, coloring books, games, etc.) On the first day of my stay, I took it to the sisters (nuns), who run the center, assuming they will give it to the children. After a few weeks, I noticed that the children didn’t get anything I brought, even the games. They didn’t get anything even after a couple of months, and I became disappointed and upset. At the end of my four-month stay, the children still didn’t get anything, but I started to understand.

Thanks to the extended stay and communication with locals and other volunteers (for some reason, it wasn’t possible to talk directly with sisters), I believe that the sisters used those thighs I brought in a better way than for the orphans in the center.

What has happened?

The reality was that the orphanage was very well set, and the orphans, compared to the majority of children living in Zambia, were materialistically sufficiently secured. They had meals three times a day, education, access to a library, sports equipment, afternoon programs, even television. Many children in Zambia are lucky if they have a meal once a day and have a chance to learn reading and writing. Though I am assuming the life of the sisters running the center was quite good, their families could live in deplorable conditions and social workers’ families too. Therefore after learning this, I think that the sisters made better use of all those things I brought if they gave them to their families and the social worker’s families instead of the children in the orphanage who already had many worldly things. 

Those children in the orphanage are missing their parents and parental love, but this is quite common in Africa, even for children who have both parents. Suppose some parents don’t have a job or have a very poorly paid job, which is a common reality in Africa. In that case, they will give their child or children to some relatives who live in better conditions. Usually, these children have to work very hard at their relatives’ homes, and they might see their parents only once a year, but in return, they can go to school, and they will eat daily. In this case, it might be even better to live in some orphanage where you will get good care and be treated nicely. Of course, this is not possible to generalize.

Let me tell you one particular life story:

One social worker shared with me that she’s got a family and children living hours away (maybe 8 or 10 hours) from her workplace, and she visits them just twice a year. She works in this orphanage because it is the only way to support her children and family financially. Her children have to go to school and back home on foot every day, whereby one journey takes about 1,5 hours. They have one meal a day: maize porridge and some pumpkin leaves. And they are grateful to their teacher if he lets them go to the library after school for a while. Even though her children had a mother, she couldn’t be with them due to survival and securing their education. Hopefully, the relatives are a better option than the orphanage, but unfortunately, it isn’t always the case.

I have personally heard a few more life stories like this one, but there are hundreds of thousands of unprivileged lives all around the world.

So, what would have happened if I hadn't learned about this African reality and just knew that the nuns didn’t give my presents to the orphans, instead just kept them for themselves? I would feel wronged and upset and talk about it with my family and friends, and they would be further sharing this misleading information. I encountered more issues during my voluntary service, and I wanted to change many things there. Do them differently, in a “better” way (the European way). I felt wronged and didn’t understand locals’ explanations, and sometimes it was pretty hard to accept something.

Final thoughts

Fortunately, after spending two more years in Africa, I have learned that functional approaches in Europe or the US don't always work in Africa; methods that are for Europeans or Americans effective in African conditions will be ineffective or won’t work at all. Now, I understand those issues which made me feel wronged and upset, but it took me months of living in Africa and learning from my Zambian wife and her family. 

I am not saying that everything in Africa turns out to be good if you spend a certain amount of time there and marry an African person. But probably you will see various problems from different perspectives. And you will discover that as Africa can learn many things from developed countries, these developed countries can also learn many things from Africa.